maybe im just being selfish....

i have some good news and some bad news! good news is my hubby got baptized on sunday and the bad new is i wasnt there to witness it:( i am soooooo happy for him and the decisoin he has made (i was baptized when i was 14ish) but i wasnt there for him and it makes me worry that maybe he doesnt love me as much as i love him. i know that sounds silly but i feel like that is something u share with the ones u love and i was at home with a migraine. i didnt understand y he couldnt just wait til i was there. maybe im just being selfish idk! but i cant shake the feeling of "maybe he really doesnt love me anymore". i hate feeling this way because i have no reason to. he told me he wished i was there but it was a last minute decision and even if he would have called me there is no way i would have made it. and i think that is what hurts the most...knowing he had at least 10 mins to get ready and he didnt even call or text me to let me know what was happening and then let me decide if i was feeling good enough to go. i would have liked to get some pictures and be the first to congratulate and hug him. but instead i was the last to do those things and that hurts:( today is our 9yr anniversary and i shouldnt be feeling like this. he tells me all the time how much he loves me and would never leave me and he is proud to call me his wife so y cant i believe him? im sure its just my self esteem talking. i know he could do soooooooo much better then me and that scares me.

well i guess im just being selfish and i need to realize that when God is speaking to u.....u listen!!:)

i know i only have 2 followers (i love u 2 for following...lol) and im sure everything i blog about u already now but thnx for letting me vent!!!:)